(…for losing at golf)
1. A seriously wicked party the night before.
2. Injuries. Like: tennis elbow, housemaid’s knee, a hangnail, athlete’s foot.
3. Other health issues: Sclerosis of the liver, shortness of breath, double vision, tinnitus, mild insanity, varicose veins, backache, terminal dandruff.
4. Something in your shoe: a nail, a stone, an unwelcome insect.
5. An unhappy childhood.
6. An impending divorce, causing insomnia, lethargy and imminent penury.
7. Multiple Personality Disorder.
8. Apathy, Antipathy, Hydropathy, Sociopathy, Homeopathy.
9. The other guy sneezed just as you started your downswing.
10. You were struck by lightning (again).
11. Social unrest, a revolution, or a Biblical Plague.
12 A broken seven iron.
13. One of the phobias. Arithmophobia (numbers), Kakorrhaphiophobia (failure), Pluviophobia (rain), Pentheraphobia (mothers-in-law), Agoraphobia (open spaces) are all popular choices.
14. An allergy. Grass pollen is the most popular.
15. For Professionals: The Caddy gave me the wrong club/ yardage/ put too many clubs in the bag/ forgot to pack my medication/ lunch/ gum.
16. PTSD, PMT, HRT, ADHD.
18. If all else fails, blame one of these: Bad luck, Kismet, Astrology, Witchcraft, Leprechauns, St Nicklaus.